Always Anna

So, my BFF Sneaky McTrickyPants, has a text stalker. She met this guy when she was doing a 5K race, and they hung out once. This was enough to get him hooked on her – he immediately started text stalking her.

A day after they hung out: “Ha yea I won’t lie I’m stoked what time would you like a big sexy man to stop by?”

Random texts every few hours for the next couple days… during which time Sneaky only responds to every 3rd text.

2 days later: “U should come visit me.”

2 hours later: “I’m up all night we could make out ”

The next day he picture messages a random photo of himself.

The next day: “Staying up late again u should be here to keep me company.”

Three hours later: “We should hang out I’ll be exhausted but in need of a beautiful woman’s touch.”

Later that day: “Soooooo what would I have to do get a back rub?”

Sneaky ignores the back rub comment and says something random, to which he replies that he’s hanging out in Boston (he leaves about an hour outside the city). She doesn’t respond.

An hour later: “Heyyyyy come back I’m about to leave Boston.”

Sneaky texts him that she doesn’t feel well (which is, obviously, not true).

He says: “Awww want me to bring u something and take care of you.”

An hour later: “Well if u need anything soup movies etc ill be happy to pop by and take care of u.”

10 minutes later: “Just hope you feel better get some rest.”

2 days later, after random texts…: “Sorry I was off the radar yesterday I literally just slept all day, how was work?”

No response, so 2 days later: “Hey pop tart sorry i have been mia I actually am looking for a place to live and this has me all caught up.”

3 hours later: “Who knows we may actually hang out again.”

5 minutes later: “Yea cause I’m not sure if I told you but I kinda like you I just don’t want to scare you off.”

5 minutes later: “Just a little though so don’t let it go to your head. ”

I almost died laughing scrolling through these texts. In the first place, when did texting replace actual conversations? Phone calls? Dates? Apparently these things aren’t necessary nowadays. In the second place… well, his attempt to not scare her off? Not working.

I spent a good chunk of last night in front of the TV, catching up on the brilliantly tacky Rock of Love 2 and writing furiously.  Not work or blog posts or even – gasp – fiction, but dates.  And appointments.  And concerts.  And weddings.

I’m ditching my Palm Pilot and going back to a written planner.

I just got tired of the dealing with the tiny stylus and keyboard.  Tired of not being able to see a full week at a time.  Tired of forgetting to recharge it and having it die right when I needed it.  Tired of not being able to easily create daily to-do lists. 

After hours of searching online (okay, probably more like 30 minutes), I found this awesome planner from Bob’s Your Uncle at See Jane Work.  It’s great – a week per page, with a page for notes and doodles facing the week.  And it has fun colors! 

I’m in love. 

Freaking out at work?  Feeling like you are working with a bunch of inconsiderate fools?  Need to calm down before you start breaking things? 

No worries, I’ve figured out the three steps to reclaiming your sanity:

1. Take a walk around the office.  Or the block.  Whatever.  Just get up from your desk.
2. When you get back to your desk, go to Go Fug Yourself and revel in the hilarity.  And the reminder that there are some people more crazy than you.
3. Then go to Cute Overload and look at all the puppy pictures.  All that oohing and ahhing really lightens up your mood.

Now, breathe deeply as you get back to work.

Last night, I was standing at a stop light, waiting to cross the street.  Just standing there, thinking about how I was almost home.  And then I fell. 

I didn’t trip.  No one bumped into me.  I didn’t faint.  There wasn’t even a particularly strong wind.  I just tipped forward and fell on my hands and knees.

Anna means “grace” in Hebrew.  Clearly, my parents had no idea how I’d turn out.

Over the weekend, the BF and I celebrated our five-year anniversary.  Or, as I’ve been calling it, the “Can you believe it’s been five years?” date.

Before the BF, I was… how do I put this nicely?  Let’s go with “easily bored.”  Relationships were not my priority – not when there was so much making out and partying and hanging out with my girlfriends to be done.  And, while I did attempt to have a “real relationship” a couple of times, it just didn’t work for me.  I felt smothered and trapped when the guy wanted to do romantic things.  I got sick of having to choose between spending time with a boy or with my girlfriends.  And I got really tired of talking about my feelings.

Somehow, with the BF, none of this has been an issue.  Maybe because we’re so much alike, with the same need for independence that a lot of people just don’t have.  We just get each other.   

I don’t usually post about the BF – he doesn’t want his life all over the internet.  But I just had to say this – I can’t imagine anyone in the world could make me as happy as he does.  And while I can’t believe that five years went by so quickly, I’m ecstatic that I’ve passed that time with him.

No, I am seriously losing things.  File folders full of HOURS of work that I’ll have to re-do if I can’t find them.  Phone numbers and addresses.  Wrapping paper.  My memory.  My mind.

On the bright side, it’s Friday.

After going on a pretty good run of blogging every day, I’ve kind of fallen off the face of the planet.  This totally bums me out, since I have a ton to say.  But I’ve been super busy lately, and after working all day, I’m having a hard time mustering up the energy to spend more time online when I get home.  Plus, my apartment is a freaking disaster, and I am trying to focus on getting my piles and piles and PILES of paper under control.  Yes, I am a pack rat and while I have no intention of stopping that habit (hi, what if I desperately need an article on the different strengths of metal used in jewelry some time?), I would like to – you know – not trip over a pile when I’m trying to go to bed.  A small part of me is terrified that I’m going to turn into one of those old ladies who stack up newspapers and magazines and photos and trash around their apartment until they die, at which point their family has to bring in a freaking excavator to get rid of all the junk. 

Hmm… that was not where I meant to go with this blog post, but as I typed it, I came up with the idea of scanning all of my random articles into PDF files and saving them on my computer.  This may bear researching….

Praise be to St. Patrick for keeping me from having a hangover today!  I think he must have reminded me to only drink from 11 AM to 4 PM yesterday, keeping my hangover limited to last night.  Not fun last night, but definitely a plus for getting out of bed on Monday morning.

As for you… well, I hope your beer flows freely and that your hangovers are minor.

I’m tired.  I’m bruised.  And my shoulders are STILL sore. 

Why?

Because I took an exotic dancing/pole dancing class with a bunch of girlfriends on Saturday, and that sh*t is freaking HARD.

Thanks to the hilarious and talented Wendy Reardon, I can now gyrate on the floor, shake it on a chair, and go airborne on a stripper pole.  AND I can pick up a dollar bill with my bum.

I am multi-talented, people.  Watch out now!

It’s been a rough week here in Anna-land.  I had to come back from vacation and get back to work.  I had to leave gorgeous weather for… well… New England.  And Brett Favre announced his retirement, which obviously results in me crying every 30 seconds when ESPN talks about the decision and how amazing Brett has been.

But this weekend is looking promising, with entertainment that may include shopping!  eating!  and pole dancing! 

I’ll be back next week with news on that.