Always Anna

Today, for the first time in almost 2 weeks, the sun came out in Boston.  I don’t think I can even express my joy at seeing sunlight filter through my blinds when I woke up this morning – FINALLY!  It’s May, for crying out loud!

My happiness was compounded by the fact that I was out of clean pants to wear to work – sun meant I could wear a skirt!  Woohoo!

As I got dressed this morning, I felt so spring-like as I put on a slim black skirt and light purple top, and slipped my bare feet into heels (no tights!).  Obviously, the girly outfit required me to clip my hair back a little bit, and put on some swingy earrings.  I feel so… feminine!

So, I left my apartment, and kind of bounced along as I walked to the T.  About halfway to the T station, I saw a short, older woman – probably about 65 – walking towards me.  As I passed her, she reached out and gently touched my arm as she asked, “Excuse me, could you stop for a minute?”

Assuming she needed directions somewhere, I smiled down at her and said, “Sure.  How can I….” And broke off mid-sentence as she walked in a circle around me, looking me up and down.  She ran a hand through her short gray hair, looked directly into my confused eyes, and said, “I think you are EXACTLY what my husband wishes I looked like, and am just trying to figure out how you do it.” 

I broke into a nervous laugh, and stuttered out a thank you as she continued to gaze at me. 

She turned to walk away, and called back over her shoulder, “You’re beautiful – just beautiful.”

So there you have it.  Apparently wearing a skirt instead of pants entices 65-year-old women.  And their absent husbands. 

The Gap has come up with the best invention EVER:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A halter top with a REAL bra instead of a stupid elastic band.  I look D*MN good in this!

This morning, I hauled my cookies out of bed a whole hour early, showered, dressed, and hopped on the T. What could possibly make me get up that early? Well, it’s a good thing you’ve asked, my friends. Today was the one day of the year that women could get a designer wedding gown, normally priced between $800 and $4,000, for only $250. That’s right. Today was the infamous Filene’s Basement Bridal Event (the FBBE).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have NO interest in getting married (or a wedding dress) at this point in my life. But after hearing so many stories about the chaos that is the FBBE, I had to see it first hand – supposedly fights break out as women stampede in to get the best dresses! Women trampled in Downtown Crossing! Since the Basement is right on my way to work, I just hopped off my regular train a couple stops early, stopped by Starbucks to grab a delicious chai latte, and strolled over.

The doors were scheduled to open at 8, and I got there around 7:40 – I wanted to check out the line, see what was going on, and watch the mad dash in when the doors opened. I had perfect timing.

When I got there, the line was literally wrapped around the building, stretching from the main entrance, down the entire length of the building, around the corner, and all the way down the second side. There had to be at least 1500 people there – mostly women, but I saw a few (most likely gay) men. And they were hilarious. Groups of girls had matching shirts, hats, crazy headbands – a few groups of women even had matching bouquets on their heads. I assume this display was to help them find each other in the crowd – from what I understand, as soon as the doors open, the women stampede in, grab as many dresses as they can, and then start stripping in the corners to try on their stash.

I talked to one of the brides-to-be, “Pink Hat,” who shared her tips with me. Pink Hat had six similarly pink-hatted friends with her – “One is to help me dress, two are to stand guard over the pile of dresses, two are to keep scouting for other dresses we can trade for, and one is to rebag the dresses when I’m done.” She went on to tell me that after the stampede in, everyone grabs as many dresses as they can; the size and style don’t matter because the rejects will be traded with other dress hoarders until the brides find the dress they want. After taking pictures of the pink hatted crew for them, I asked them how long they’d been there. “Oh, we got here at 6 am.” I looked at the number of people in front of them – at least 150. “Are you serious?” I asked. “When did the line start?” Pink Hat replied, “Must have started at 5 am. This event is NOT for the weak. Serious shoppers ONLY.”

I wandered away, wondering what on earth compelled people to stand in line, in the cold, for three hours to get a dress. But then I remembered the savings – I guess saving $3500 would be worth a little discomfort. I checked the clock – 7:50. Just then, a Filene’s employee came out with a megaphone, to announce that the doors would open in 5 minutes. “The doors will open in 5 minutes, and we will start escorting you into the store! This is NOT the start of the sale. We will NOT be taking you to the dresses yet! If you push, shove, or otherwise get violent, we will immediately EJECT you from the store!”

Schweet. This was totally what I wanted to see. I hurried to the front of the line so I could get a good view of the mad dash.

Sadly, no one got trampled. I did hear a woman yell, “If you GET in my way, I’ll SO kick your *ss!” And I got to see about 50 women at the front yell at one woman who was trying to cut the line. But the “mad dash” in was actually fairly organized. Boo.

Still I’m very pleased I got to witness the craziness – it totally got my day off to a good start.

Of course, then Poop announced his impending retirement, which totally killed my buzz.

I’m an enigma, ladies and gentlemen. A study in contrasts.

After posting my embarrassing and crude stories on Friday, I spent all weekend unshowered in “tomboy” wear (jeans and t-shirts or football jerseys). I didn’t even brush my teeth between Saturday morning and Sunday night. So after I got myself all clean this morning, I decided to rebel against my weekend grossness. I dressed like a lady today.

This is not my usual work look, my friends. In general, my fall/winter work-wear consists of slacks of some kind with sweaters or collared shirts. Just basic, professional looking clothes, you know? But today is a different story. Today, I’m wearing a knee-length tweed skirt, with kicky pleats at the bottom so that it swishes when I walk, a sleek black turtleneck, and round-toe 3-inch heels. I topped this off with a black velvet blazer, but since my office stays at 72 degrees, it’s too warm to wear it indoors. I’m so… girly. I feel like I could be a character in “How to Marry a Millionaire” with Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable. It’s so fun!

I’m sure you don’t care about what I’m wearing. But I’m so entertained by the many sides of my wardrobe that I don’t care. I’m dressed like a girl today. So I’m going to talk about it.

The Packers may be killing my soul, but my fantasy team is officially making a comeback! Woohoo! And I just won my office football pool! Double woohoo!

I’m taking my winnings to Filene’s and buying a new work bag. Nothing is cooler than combining football and shopping. Ooh, unless you can work some food in there….

And on that note, I’m leaving you with the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while:

At Hong Kong’s on Saturday night, Emily slurred/yelled, “I’m a high maintenance PRINCESS, and I get what I WANT!” Maybe you’d have to know Drunk Emily to find this as hilarious as I did… but trust me. It was hysterical.

Most of the time, chick magazines like Cosmo and Glamour make we question the sanity of my entire gender. How on earth do articles like “How to make him hot in bed,” “Firm up your abs in 5 days!” and “Jeans for your body type” actually help people? I mean, I knew all the sex/abs/jeans tricks by the time I was 16, well before I was even dealing with any of the issues! There’s nothing new here!

In spite of the fact that I know that I will get nothing good out of one of these magazines, I still occasionally convince myself that I need to read one. It’s brainless fun, and since it takes longer than 15 minutes to read, a WAY better deal than the gossip magazines like US Weekly and In Touch. But, they always end up leaving me feeling unsatisfied, as well as stupider than I was before I read them.

That’s how I feel today. I finished off the last Glamour last night, put it down, and immediately had to go bed to get the ridiculousness out of my head.

Ugh. From now on, I’m sticking to Jane.

Apparently I missed the memo saying that Texas Tuxedos are back in fashion.

I saw THREE woman on my walk to work this morning wearing full-on, head-to-toe, denim outfits: one had on a denim skirt with a matching jacket, one had on jeans with a lighter colored jean jacket, and one – one brave soul! – was wearing dark denim pants and jacket with a lighter colored denim top. I was horrifed – I thought for a moment that I’d time-traveled back to the 1980s, when it was okay to do this. Alas, this was not the case.

Who on earth wakes up in the morning and thinks, “You know what would look really hot today? My cute new denim outfit. It’s SO cool looking”? Well, apparently Ralph Lauren does, as he’s currently shilling these outfits:

I’m in shock. Clearly the fashion industry – and most people – need to consult with me before getting dressed in the morning.

Whew. I’m clean AND I smell good. Mmmm… creme brulee.

Last night I met my friend Dawn for “Girl’s Night Out.” Skyy vodka, free goody bags, discounted clothes/jewelry/make-up/accessories, and friendly strangers made for a very good time… a very good time indeed. I became obsessed with Kate Starr’s jewelry (absolutely stunning – and I don’t even usually accessorize!), and dropped some dough on Canadian make-up that I will probably never use (but it’s so pretty!). There was an unfortunate incident that involved flavored nipple cream burning my lips, and bizarre things going on at a plastic surgery booth, but overall – I’d give it 4 out of 5 stars. Unfortunately, my purse strings were loosened by melon flavored vodka, and I spent a teensy bit more than I meant to… whoops.

Luckily, a penny saved is a penny earned, and since I saved… oh… about $50 last night (discounts and freebies – cost of ticket), I’ll just pretend I came out ahead. I can’t wait to save more money next year.

This weekend looks to be fun, in spite of the rain they’re predicting (for the freakin’ fourth weekend in a row)! “See” you on Monday!