Always Anna

So, my BFF Sneaky McTrickyPants, has a text stalker. She met this guy when she was doing a 5K race, and they hung out once. This was enough to get him hooked on her – he immediately started text stalking her.

A day after they hung out: “Ha yea I won’t lie I’m stoked what time would you like a big sexy man to stop by?”

Random texts every few hours for the next couple days… during which time Sneaky only responds to every 3rd text.

2 days later: “U should come visit me.”

2 hours later: “I’m up all night we could make out ”

The next day he picture messages a random photo of himself.

The next day: “Staying up late again u should be here to keep me company.”

Three hours later: “We should hang out I’ll be exhausted but in need of a beautiful woman’s touch.”

Later that day: “Soooooo what would I have to do get a back rub?”

Sneaky ignores the back rub comment and says something random, to which he replies that he’s hanging out in Boston (he leaves about an hour outside the city). She doesn’t respond.

An hour later: “Heyyyyy come back I’m about to leave Boston.”

Sneaky texts him that she doesn’t feel well (which is, obviously, not true).

He says: “Awww want me to bring u something and take care of you.”

An hour later: “Well if u need anything soup movies etc ill be happy to pop by and take care of u.”

10 minutes later: “Just hope you feel better get some rest.”

2 days later, after random texts…: “Sorry I was off the radar yesterday I literally just slept all day, how was work?”

No response, so 2 days later: “Hey pop tart sorry i have been mia I actually am looking for a place to live and this has me all caught up.”

3 hours later: “Who knows we may actually hang out again.”

5 minutes later: “Yea cause I’m not sure if I told you but I kinda like you I just don’t want to scare you off.”

5 minutes later: “Just a little though so don’t let it go to your head. ”

I almost died laughing scrolling through these texts. In the first place, when did texting replace actual conversations? Phone calls? Dates? Apparently these things aren’t necessary nowadays. In the second place… well, his attempt to not scare her off? Not working.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 11:23 pm and is filed under Random Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.