Always Anna

On Saturday, I went to the infamous Holiday Party 69 (69 is the address - get your minds out of the gutter!) . And I was reminded of the first Holiday Party 69, which took place two years ago…

flashback

I was a mess. I got to the party around 8, and immediately started out with some Sangria. I quickly moved on to a bottle of Stoli Vanila, and mixed in a few beers. I remember screaming at my boyfriend from across the party (not in anger, but because I wanted him to take a picture), harassing a girl about dating a friend, and dancing for a while. Around 10pm, I went to the bathroom with Em, where I proceeded to fall over on top of her, knocking her backwards into the bathtub, tearing off the shower curtain in the process. I thought this was hilarious, and was laughing so hard that I couldn’t get up. After a couple minutes of trying to shove my flailing body off her, Em managed to get out. She then spent 5 more minutes trying to haul me out of the tub, but I refused to let her take my stilettos off, so feet kept sliding all over the floor. Frustrated with my ridiculousness, Em got my boyfriend to help get me out of the tub and into a bed. Em wisely fled the scene, leaving my boy to deal with me. I rewarded his efforts by crying and insisting that he didn’t love me anymore and was trying to get rid of me. I then passed out. At some point I woke up and wanted to go back to the party, so I opened a door, and shut it behind me. I then realized I was standing on the balcony. In the winter. In a tiny black strapless dress and stilettos. And the door had automatically locked behind me. After banging on the door for a while with no response, I ended up kicking down the door (there are still heel marks in the door) and immediately passing back out.

present day

Good times, huh? This year, I was determined not to repeat my ridiculousness - I’d never live it down if I passed out again. I arrived at the party around 9:30, sober, thus guaranteeing that I couldn’t be too drunk to function until later in the evening. And while I did drink half a bottle of Stoli Raz and some Sangria, and did a few Carbombs, I managed to stay awake and moving until 5am. How did I achieve this feat of awareness, you ask? Well, the platter of cheese and crackers that I inhaled helped. As did the dancing I did with my fellow dance-class veteran, Cori. And conga line that I started. And the 3 visits from the cops.

I’m still recovering from my exhaustion. I need to go find some coffee.