Oh, my contradictory nature
November 7th, 2005
I’m an enigma, ladies and gentlemen. A study in contrasts.
After posting my embarrassing and crude stories on Friday, I spent all weekend unshowered in “tomboy” wear (jeans and t-shirts or football jerseys). I didn’t even brush my teeth between Saturday morning and Sunday night. So after I got myself all clean this morning, I decided to rebel against my weekend grossness. I dressed like a lady today.
This is not my usual work look, my friends. In general, my fall/winter work-wear consists of slacks of some kind with sweaters or collared shirts. Just basic, professional looking clothes, you know? But today is a different story. Today, I’m wearing a knee-length tweed skirt, with kicky pleats at the bottom so that it swishes when I walk, a sleek black turtleneck, and round-toe 3-inch heels. I topped this off with a black velvet blazer, but since my office stays at 72 degrees, it’s too warm to wear it indoors. I’m so… girly. I feel like I could be a character in “How to Marry a Millionaire” with Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable. It’s so fun!
I’m sure you don’t care about what I’m wearing. But I’m so entertained by the many sides of my wardrobe that I don’t care. I’m dressed like a girl today. So I’m going to talk about it.
What happened to the uniform of jeans and something sexy on top?!?!
…and, 36 hours without brushing teeth!?
Love you!
Make sure to balance things out by ripping some ass in your office while you’re all prettied up.
You know, it’s so funny: I dressed like a lady today also!
Wait. Uh, I mean, I dressed like a man. Big burly man. Man that goes and, like, chops trees and– oh, this is so embarassing.
I bet you look just gorgeous darling. If I were in Boston, I’d probably be trying to hump your leg. Or something.
Hey! Who’s trying to hump my leg? I need a clue!