Always Anna

I’m not one of those people that embarrass that easily, which is something that I’m supremely grateful for. Perhaps it’s because I have a pretty ridiculous sense of humor - I’ve always been able to laugh at myself. However, even us cool cats have been horrifyingly embarrassed at some point or another….

5. Ah, public farts. They’re embarrassing, for sure. Even more so when you’re the new student in 6th grade and it’s the third day of school and you still don’t really know anybody that well and you let out a ridiculously loud fart while doing sit-ups in P.E. Seriously. I’m shocked that I still made friends.

4. So, I have this cute pair of work pants. They’re black, with kind of wide legs and a cuff. I wear them with heels - have too, because they’re long. And sometimes, when I’m walking, the heel from one shoe somehow gets caught in the cuff of the opposite leg. And I trip. Most of the time I catch myself, but last week I fell. And landed on my face in the middle of the office. In front of the Vice President. I know, I know - I’m really cool.

3. And speaking of falling… I slipped on the stairs at the Harvard T stop this morning, and did a stair-skid down about 11 steps, before breaking my fall on a 50 year old guy in a suit. Luckily, he had better balance than I did, so I didn’t end up on top of him on the ground. Just smashed up against him. Sigh.

2. Freshman year of college - that time in my life when I acted like a jack*ss in the school cafeteria on a regular basis. One time, however, my foolishness accidentally ended up embarrassing me. Imagine it: I was sitting at the front of the cafeteria, in the chair right next to the main aisle that people come in. My friend couldn’t see if the boy she had a crush on was at his normal table, and didn’t want to take the risk of looking, in case he was. I announced that I’d scope out the situation, stood up, and started looking around the cafeteria. After a couple of minutes, I located the hot boy and turned back to my friend to tell her where he was. Then, I turned to point him out, as I lowered myself back to my chair. Sadly, the turning and sitting at the same time was too much for my uncoordinated self, and I ended up on the very edge of the chair, which promptly shot out from under me, clattering into the main aisle. I landed on my butt, where I promptly broke into hysterical laughter. Alexis immediately started laughing as well - and if you’ve heard Alexis laugh, you know it draws attention. It also made me laugh harder, which made it impossible to get up. So I sat, laughing like a maniac, on the floor of the cafeteria, while people literally stepped OVER me to get around, and everyone else stared. Ah… good times.

1. A couple of years ago, when my boyfriend and I first started dating, we were wrestling on the couch. Well, to be precise, he was tickling me, and I was shrieking and trying to get away. Eventually, I managed to sit on top of him, thinking that would save me. It didn’t. I kept telling him that if he didn’t stop, I was going to wet my pants. Luckily, I didn’t lose control of that… but I did lose control and let out an enormous fart. That would have been embarrassing enough - too bad I was still sitting on him at the time, and I ended up farting in his lap. I have NEVER been more mortified.

And, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Peace out, my lovelies.