Top 5 Grossest Subway Moments
Today, we’ll be talking about the 5 grossest things I’ve ever seen happen on the T (that’s the subway, to all you non-bostonians). Or as I like to think of it, “Proof That Humans Are Becoming More and More Horrifying.”
5. I was sitting in the train, listening to my tunes and people watching, when I saw a woman, dressed in a navy pin-striped business suit (skirt, not pants), with her hair in a french twist… picking her nose. And not a gentle “brush” – she was digging there. I’m not sure what that was about – did she forget she was in public? Think she was invisible?
4. A couple months ago, I saw this guy – looked like a construction worker or painter – full on jacking off on the train. He thought he was being subtle, I think – he had on a big jacket that sort of covered his lap – but it was totally obvious. The weirdest part was that he wasn’t looking at any of the girls on the train while doing this – he was looking at an ad for Shaw’s Supermarket deliver service, Peapod.
3. This older man was standing next to me on a crowded B-line train. He looked harmless enough, but as the train got more and more crowded (I HATE the B-line), we got pushed closer and closer together. He decided to take this opportunity to rub himself up against me. Repeatedly. I didn’t really notice at first – I thought people were just jostling him – but as his freakin’ package got more… umm… pronounced, I realized what was happening. After shooting him my death-glare, I shoved him off of me and pushed my way through the crowd to go stand somewhere else.
2. As my train home finally pulled up, the man standing next to me covered one nostril with his finger, and blew. A huge rocket of snot came flying out of his nose and shot down to the ground. I looked at him, horrified, as the train doors opened. He pushed past me on the train, seemingly oblivious to the fact that when you blow your nose, you’re supposed to use a tissue. Obviously, I walked one car back.
1. This morning, there was a hugely pregnant woman on the train. She had to be at least 8 months along. Anyways, she waddled into the train, and looked around for a seat. None. So she asked this 30-ish business man sitting next to me if he would mind giving up his seat. He looked up from tapping in his Palm Pilot and said, “I was here first.” Then started typing away again. I was floored. I got up, shot him a dirty look, and told her to take my seat.
Seriously… what the h*ll is wrong with people?
This entry was posted on Friday, October 28th, 2005 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Top 5 Fridays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.