Always Anna

Ah, Halloween. That time of year when a woman’s mind turns to thoughts of how to best look like a creative slut.

Hey, don’t get me wrong – I’m not knocking the age-old tradition of getting slutted up for Halloween. I’ve been a “sexy something” every year since I turned 14 – genie, pirate, witch, Magenta (from Rocky Horror Picture Show), cat, devil, Wonder Woman, cop (well, actually, I was the “bad cop” – my friend Nicole was the “good cop”), cheerleader, and construction worker/handy-woman. Last year was the first Halloween I remember when I wasn’t scantily clad (I was Hermione from Harry Potter). And then there was this year….

First off, you need to know that I love Halloween. I love costumes and candy and parties. So imagine my dismay at finding that no one I knew in Boston was having a party. No one! I kept figuring that something would come up, and that I’d throw a costume together at the last minute… but nothing did. And so, Saturday night found me hanging out with eight other friends at Hong Kong’s in Harvard Square, bundled up against the snow that had fallen, watching Harvard kids parade around in their costumes.

It was ridiculously depressing. No costume, no party, no treats at all this year.

On the bright side, we’ve already figured out where next year’s party will be.

And I’m back. You know you missed me.

Today, we’ll be talking about the 5 grossest things I’ve ever seen happen on the T (that’s the subway, to all you non-bostonians). Or as I like to think of it, “Proof That Humans Are Becoming More and More Horrifying.”

5. I was sitting in the train, listening to my tunes and people watching, when I saw a woman, dressed in a navy pin-striped business suit (skirt, not pants), with her hair in a french twist… picking her nose. And not a gentle “brush” – she was digging there. I’m not sure what that was about – did she forget she was in public? Think she was invisible?

4. A couple months ago, I saw this guy – looked like a construction worker or painter – full on jacking off on the train. He thought he was being subtle, I think – he had on a big jacket that sort of covered his lap – but it was totally obvious. The weirdest part was that he wasn’t looking at any of the girls on the train while doing this – he was looking at an ad for Shaw’s Supermarket deliver service, Peapod.

3. This older man was standing next to me on a crowded B-line train. He looked harmless enough, but as the train got more and more crowded (I HATE the B-line), we got pushed closer and closer together. He decided to take this opportunity to rub himself up against me. Repeatedly. I didn’t really notice at first – I thought people were just jostling him – but as his freakin’ package got more… umm… pronounced, I realized what was happening. After shooting him my death-glare, I shoved him off of me and pushed my way through the crowd to go stand somewhere else.

2. As my train home finally pulled up, the man standing next to me covered one nostril with his finger, and blew. A huge rocket of snot came flying out of his nose and shot down to the ground. I looked at him, horrified, as the train doors opened. He pushed past me on the train, seemingly oblivious to the fact that when you blow your nose, you’re supposed to use a tissue. Obviously, I walked one car back.

1. This morning, there was a hugely pregnant woman on the train. She had to be at least 8 months along. Anyways, she waddled into the train, and looked around for a seat. None. So she asked this 30-ish business man sitting next to me if he would mind giving up his seat. He looked up from tapping in his Palm Pilot and said, “I was here first.” Then started typing away again. I was floored. I got up, shot him a dirty look, and told her to take my seat.

Seriously… what the h*ll is wrong with people?

I saw Two for the Money last night – a decent movie. And it was totally worth the $10 to see Matt sans shirt for the majority of the two hours. I am slightly obsessed. I mean… look at him!

Okay, it might be more than a slight obsession. I tried to buy my boyfriend one of the Stetson colognes, just because Matt is in the ad. I find ways to talk about his Airstream. I almost bought Cosmo for the first time in, like, two years just because he was on the “All About Men” cover… mmmmmmmmmmm…..

Oh, excuse me. I just drooled on my keyboard.

I had a ton of good ideas for blog entries… but I forgot to write them down. And since my memory is about as good as a freakin’ goldfish, I clearly forgot what the heck they were.

I know a lot of people forget things… but I think my memory problems go beyond normal. There are huge chunks of my life, and major events that I don’t really remember. And I was sober for most of them! I heard once that memories need to be “practiced” – if you don’t tell them as stories and constantly think about them, you tend to lose them. And the only reason I remember that is because my girly crush, Natalie Portman, said something along those lines in her “Inside the Actor’s Studio” interview.

For a while, inspired by Alexis, I kept track of what had happened in a day in my planner. So, every morning, I’d write a brief recap of the day before – things like “Fell off chair in caf @ b-fast. SO embarassed. Went to PT w/E&N & got wasted. Wore snakeskin halter.” But, as with so many other things, my laziness got in the way of my records.

Maybe I should start keeping track again. And carrying a notepad for good blog ideas.

The other day, Poop asked me how many guys had made me mix-tapes with the Counting Crows’ Anna Begins on it. “At least eight, right?” To which I had to respond that, sadly, no boy has ever made me a mix tape. EVER. I’m totally depressed about this now.

Now, it’s entirely possible that I missed the mix-tape era completely, since I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16, and then only had two short-lived boyfriends between that time and when I turned 21. What can I say – I was anti-boyfriend. Anyways, since it doesn’t seem like I’ll be getting a mix-tape (or CD) in my life, I’ve decided to make my own. I’m wooing myself with this line-up:

1. Anna Begins – Counting Crows (It’s the only song I know of with my name on it, so it has to go in. And it’s soooo pretty)
2. Just The Way You Are – Billy Joel (Because everyone wants to be loved just the way they are.)
3. My Everything – 98 Degrees (I know it’s cheesy, but I don’t care. It’s so SWEET!)
4. Living In A Moment – Ty Herndon (Country songs KNOW about love)
5. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell (A classic that always makes me sing along as I dance around the room)
6. Stickshifts and Safetybelts – Cake (Love should be fun too!)
7. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic – The Police (What girl doesn’t want to be magical?)
8. I Get A Kick Out Of You – Frank Sinatra (You gotta have some Frankie, and I love this one – fun love again!)
9. God Only Knows – The Beach Boys (Yes, it’s a little sad, but… I love it.)
10. All You Need Is Love – The Beatles (You know I love the Beatles, so they had to be on here. And this is one of the most simple, but strong, love songs ever.)
11. It’s Your Love – Tim McGraw & Faith Hill (Possibly the best love song ever – and by one of the cutest couples ever.)
12. What A Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong (Sigh.)

I can pretty much guarantee that I’m getting myself into bed with this mix.

I went to New York this last weekend to see my old boss get married. It was fabulous.

Tracy is a pseudo big sister to me – she helps me pick out jeans, takes me out drinking, holds me up when I can’t walk, and makes me grilled cheeses when I pass out at her house. I wasn’t able to see her much over the last 10 months, so it was great to see her at the wedding. The whole event was beautiful (I wouldn’t have expected anything less from her)… the tiny church in the middle of Manhattan; the reception at Tavern on the Green; her custom made gown; and her $1500 dollar hair-do (compliments of Donald Trump’s hairstylist – and no, it wasn’t a horrifying comb-over) combined to give the whole thing a fairy-tale feel. I had so much fun hanging out with my old work friends (including Andreas and Stephanie) and dancing like a fool. And the drinking at the hotel afterwards was just as fun, as I got to harass her non-stop for 3 hours. I drank for a total of eight-and-a-half hours on Saturday night, which culminated in my sliding off of chairs and passing out in a cab. It was very entertaining.

I also had time over the weekend to get ditched by Ali and Alexis. Luckily, Poop was there to make fun of drunk 17-year-olds, show me what hipsters looked like, and help me find pizza and a cab. Good times, good times.

Anyways, now that I’ve bored you all to tears, I have other things to do. How’s that for an abrupt ending?

And on that fun note (click on the picture to read it), I’m off to NYC for the weekend. I expect that drunkenness shall occur.

Kisses!

Most of the time, I’m really chill – ask my friends, my co-workers, my family, and that’s what they’d say. This is especially true at work, where I work really hard to stay professional. Even when I feel like killing people.

I have been running around like a g*dd*mn crazy person trying to get all of my work done well and on schedule, while more and more things get dumped on me by people that are too lazy to do things for themselves. I am so f*cking tired of people assuming that I have nothing to do; that I’m just here to make their lives easier. Yes, I’m in marketing – that doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything! I work longer days than most of the other people in this f*cking company, and I definitely make WAY less money. My direct boss is great – but the president of the company is so f*cking annoying, micro-managing everyone in the office. And god forbid she have any common sense – lady, in the time it takes you to send me an email asking me to “find out about a company,” you could have entered them into Google yourself. You can’t figure out how to make the projector work? Try taking off the lens cover, b*tch.

Ugh.

Most of the time, I love my job, and I can laugh off the stupid things. I mean, all jobs have crappy parts. But the last two days have been like h*ll. Since I refuse to look unprofessional at work, I had to let off some steam here. Lucky you.

Alright, lunch is over.

I was in the car with Nicole last night, when “Tonight” came blaring through the speakers. I suppose that there are a lot of you who don’t immediately recognize that title – it took me a while to place the song when listening to it – so I’ll elaborate. “Tonight.” By New Kids On The Block.

I immediately began dancing in my seat and screeching along (if you haven’t had the opportunity to hear me sing, you’re very, very, lucky). So when Alexis mentioned Jordan Knight today, I knew… the New Kids are making a comeback in my life.

I’ve owned their Greatest Hits for a few years now, and listen to it sporadically – mostly when I’m cleaning the apartment by myself. I loaned the CD to Nicole last week – hence the presence of “Tonight” on her iPod – and need it back ASAP so that I can burn that CD into my iTunes.

I need to jam to “Hangin’ Tough,” and dance to “Step by Step.” I need to use my hairbrush as a microphone as I sing “I’ll Be Loving You (Forever)” into the mirror. I need to attempt to do the signature NKOTB dance, which I never mastered, while “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” plays.

I’ll be wishing that I still had my NKOTB comic books, concert videos, and cartoons – and reliving the pain of learning that my uncle “accidentally” threw them out. I’ll be calling my mom to complain about the fact that she wouldn’t let me go see them in concert.

Sorry about not doing Top 5 Fridays last week – I was too busy at work to do it, and since it’s now MONDAY, you’ll just have to wait til this Friday to see my fabulous list. I can tell you’re just shivering in anticipation

Today’s a good day for me. The Packers kicked *ss yesterday, which almost makes up for the fact that they’re only 1-4. Now, if only my fantasy team was that good….

Anyways, just wanted to say hi… have to cram in some work so I can leave early.

Talk to you tomorrow!