Top 5 Regrets
Friday, September 30th, 2005
You know how they say, “Your biggest regret won’t be things you’ve done, but those you didn’t do”? Well, here are my Top 5 Regrets. Most are things I’ve never done, but some are things I did do, so “they” are clearly not always right. Oh, and all 5 are from college, because that’s the time that everyone makes the stupidest decisions (and, not so coincidentally, has the most fun):
5. I always wanted to be arrested for public intoxication - I figured it would be easy enough to do; would be simple time (I understand they just make you sleep it off); and would be a great story. Sadly, this didn’t happen in college, and now I’ve outgrown the desire. I blame the Providence Police, who made it too easy to get out of bars that were being raided when we were underage (which was fine, since I didn’t want to be arrested for underage drinking), and then left us alone once we turned 21. Lesson: Get drunker.
4. Hanging out with a basketball player for 15 minutes my freshman year. My roommate wanted to make out with some basketball player, her visiting friend was already making out with some recruit, and I stupidly (and drunkenly) agreed to go back to the guys dorm with them. Obviously there was another b-baller there, “Sabertooth,” who proceeded to scare me senseless. After 15 minutes of him trying to make me hook-up, I fled the scene (after my roommate threw up on his floor). Sabertooth then took it upon himself to tell everyone I banged him (I was still a virgin). He and his friends also made obscene phone calls to my room for the next month. Lesson: NEVER hang out with basketball players.
3. The summer between sophomore and junior years, I broke a guy’s heart. I don’t regret breaking up with him, as he wasn’t the right person for me, but I DO regret the way I did it. I was too immature to deal with the situation, and was basically the world’s biggest bitch to him. Afterwards, I felt so guilty that I sank into a slight depression, and refused to leave my couch for a full week. Lesson: There’s almost always a better way to handle things than being a bitch.
2. I thought I was in love with a guy in college. He broke my heart. He begged for another chance, so I gave him one. He broke my heart again. He came around again. And broke my heart again. Thank god I finally learned my lesson and told him to leave me alone when he tried to come back the third time. I could have saved myself 2 and a half years of trouble. Lesson: If a guy treats you like crap or doesn’t respect you, don’t give him a second chance to do the same thing.
1. Going off the pill for 2 months in college. There is NOTHING more terrifying than a pregnancy scare. Lesson: Condoms break.
You know how they say, “Your biggest regret won’t be things you’ve done, but those you didn’t do”? Well, here are my Top 5 Regrets. Most are things I’ve never done, but some are things I did do, so “they” are clearly not always right. Oh, and all 5 are from college, because that’s the time that everyone makes the stupidest decisions (and, not so coincidentally, has the most fun):
5. I always wanted to be arrested for public intoxication - I figured it would be easy enough to do; would be simple time (I understand they just make you sleep it off); and would be a great story. Sadly, this didn’t happen in college, and now I’ve outgrown the desire. I blame the Providence Police, who made it too easy to get out of bars that were being raided when we were underage (which was fine, since I didn’t want to be arrested for underage drinking), and then left us alone once we turned 21. Lesson: Get drunker.
4. Hanging out with a basketball player for 15 minutes my freshman year. My roommate wanted to make out with some basketball player, her visiting friend was already making out with some recruit, and I stupidly (and drunkenly) agreed to go back to the guys dorm with them. Obviously there was another b-baller there, “Sabertooth,” who proceeded to scare me senseless. After 15 minutes of him trying to make me hook-up, I fled the scene (after my roommate threw up on his floor). Sabertooth then took it upon himself to tell everyone I banged him (I was still a virgin). He and his friends also made obscene phone calls to my room for the next month. Lesson: NEVER hang out with basketball players.
3. The summer between sophomore and junior years, I broke a guy’s heart. I don’t regret breaking up with him, as he wasn’t the right person for me, but I DO regret the way I did it. I was too immature to deal with the situation, and was basically the world’s biggest bitch to him. Afterwards, I felt so guilty that I sank into a slight depression, and refused to leave my couch for a full week. Lesson: There’s almost always a better way to handle things than being a bitch.
2. I thought I was in love with a guy in college. He broke my heart. He begged for another chance, so I gave him one. He broke my heart again. He came around again. And broke my heart again. Thank god I finally learned my lesson and told him to leave me alone when he tried to come back the third time. I could have saved myself 2 and a half years of trouble. Lesson: If a guy treats you like crap or doesn’t respect you, don’t give him a second chance to do the same thing.
1. Going off the pill for 2 months in college. There is NOTHING more terrifying than a pregnancy scare. Lesson: Condoms break.


