Bitch
August 1st, 2005
Well, it finally got to the point where I realized I needed to weed out some of this crap. I’m moving, and I don’t think that I need to move a box of papers again. So on Saturday morning I started going through everything, ruthlessly tossing articles that I once thought were indispensable. During this process, I clearly had to read through everything (just in case something was still worth saving), and I found an article from the June 1996 issue of Glamour. Ah, sophomore year of high school. Anyways, I still found it really entertaining, so I’m going to share the highlights.
22 Occasions When You Shouldn’t Hesitate To Be A Bitch
6. When the woman across from you in the communal dressing room suggests you look for one of those new swimsuits that work like a girdle.
7. When reason, negotiation and fury have failed.
8. When he seems to think that paying for a plate of $8.95 pasta and half a bottle of Merlot entitles him to a night in your pants.
14. When you’re up against the kind of guy who tells you ot get him some coffee, black, and make sure his cup is clean, darlin’.
17. When you keep telling yourself it doesn’t matter, you shoudn’t say anything, just rise above it, show her you’re not as small-minded as she is - but it just keeps bugging you.
19. When an uninvited and unwelcome hand finds its way to your butt.
22. When you try to talk to him about something upsetting he’s done, and he tells you to stop being such a bitch.
H*ll yeah.
You’ve got to get rid of that stuff. Believe me, I understand the compulsion, and it’s always fun to waste a day every four years going through all your old crap. But you gotta draw the line somewhere. My magazine collection nearly destroyed me. I’m much better now, but I still have a decades worth of Sports Illustrateds wasting space in my storage. It’s a sickness.