The Birds
June 22nd, 2005
I got attacked today… and not for the first time. This was actually the fourth time it’s happened - is it any wonder that I have an overwhelming fear?
That’s right, you heard me. I’m terrified… of birds.
Not all birds - I’m not a complete wuss. Those little hopping birds are pretty cute, and even the meaner starlings are fine. But pigeons are so…shudder…gross. They’re stupid, dirty, loud and annoying… and they keep attacking me!
The first attack came in the summer of 1997. I was in Boston to look at colleges, and was walking through the Common with my dad. Out of nowhere, a single pigeon came zooming down from a statue, making a straight line for my head. I ducked, and it flew through the space my head had been in just seconds before. I was shaken, but managed to write it off as a particularly dumb bird.
Years passed, and while I never liked pigeons, I tended to just ignore them. Then it happened again. I was in Philadelphia last August for a conference, and another freakish pigeon - this one mostly white - came flying towards me. I ducked. The bird still touched me, hitting the top of my head with it’s raggedy-*ss wing. If I hadn’t ducked, it’s pointy little beak would have been imbedded in my skull. THIS is what made me terrified of birds.
Similar assaults have occured twice more in the few months. Freakin’ rats of the sky, for some reason, have it in for me. And it’s not fun.
This guy is CRAZY.
I jump when a bird makes a sudden movement. If there is a flock of pigeons on the sidewalk, I have to stop, find a way to get around them (how on EARTH to people have the guts to walk straight through a flock?), and scurry away. It’s a little embarrassing… but there’s nothing I can do about it. Hey, there’s nothing I WANT to do about it - I know that the second I lose my fear is the moment I’ll be attacked again.
Constant vigilance.
Well here in Brownsville, Texas where i live we have these stupid black birds that are annoying as all hell, though I’m not scared of them, thats all you. Good luck. Oh yeah, is that poo in the guys beard or is my screen dirty?
[...] As you may recall, I hatehatehate birds, and am a little afraid of them too. So, now that I know they’re going to kill me, I have a legit reason. [...]
Fear pigeons do you? Nothing to fear from pigeons. never look them in the eye, they assume you want something. They are smarter than they they look! Ok, I’m kidding. They stare at me(on telephone polls) when ever I drive somewhere, wich I find odd. I’m going to eventualy make a film about pigeons, I find them interesting, for some apparent reason.
Don’t fear birds, they are actually quite friendly, if you leave them alone in peace.
I have to agree with the last comment…Usually when you have a fear of something, you just end up feeding this fear until it becomes gigantic and it would seem out of the question to overcome it (like my fear of bugs). However it is weird that they swoop at you, but not because they hate you. That’s being a little paranoid. Honestly i never notice them, but I’m also doing a project about them therefore I observe them alot. You don’t have to love pigeons, but if you do just a little bit more research, you’ll see that there’s alot more crucial history and interesting facts about these birds and that the pigeons on the streets are not the only pigeons existing on earth: there are actualy beauty pageants for all sorts of exotic and weirdly interesting looking p’s and racing pigeons etc… Ah well. I just think its a shame so many ppl hav this stereotypical notion that these birds are “rats with wings” when they can be if not more skillful and interesting than your pet dog.