Always Anna

I’m heading to NYC this weekend - look out AlexisT! I’m coming after you, and things may get a little bit crazy…

Speaking of crazy, this morning I heard that a lion mutilated 42 midgets in Cambodian ring-fight. I was pretty entertained, in a sick/twisted kind of way, and was horrified by the stupidity of the fighting midget troop. But, then I tried to figure out when this happened… and discovered it was a hoax (scroll down to “Grumble of the Week”). So now my question is:

Why on earth didn’t the creator of this tall tale write a screenplay to tell this story? I’m telling you, it’s box office GOLD. I envision a mix of Willow, Gladiator, and DodgeBall. Just think about it!

Warwick Davis could star as the leader of the fighting troop - the brave man who fully believes in midget power. He’s not Cambodian you say? Umm, hello, if they can make Mickey Rooney Asian in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, they can surely make Warwick Cambodian. C’mon people.

Ben Stiller can play Yang Sihamoni, President of the Cambodian Midget Fighting League. As in Dodgeball, Ben will portray a comical tyrant, who likes to make others fight his battles. Plus, with Ben Stiller in the movie, lots of other famous people will make cameos, which will make the movie really funny. I’d like to see Owen Wilson…

Joaquin Phoenix will play the head of the Cambodian government that allowed this tragedy to happen in order to collect lots of cash. A rip-off of his Gladiator role, sure. But this will add more drama and depth to the film. Plus, I think the lions from Gladiator would be happy to resurrect their acting careers, and since they already know Joaquin…

I like “Midget Wars” as the title, with the tagline reading it’s not the size of the midget, it’s the size of the fight in the midget that matters. Deep, right?

I’m telling you - release this film on Memorial Day Weekend and you’ve got a winner.