Always Anna

YAWN. I am so freakin’ tired today. Why, you ask? Well, you know, I don’t want to brag, but… I had the best weekend ever (okay, top 10, at least). And now I’m exhausted.

On Friday, Emily, Alison, Alexis and I drove up to Montreal for a long weekend of drinking, dancing, sightseeing and shopping. And of course, acting like jack*sses.

It was awesome. I’d been to Montreal before, but never with all of these girls - and I must say that the four of us were the perfect vacation partners. The 6 hour (or so) drive up was hilarious, and got us into town around 7. After settling in at the hotel and grabbing some food, we headed down to Thursday’s, a club with a spinning dance floor. This may be the coolest thing ever. From there, things got crazy. I won’t go into details, but I will say that Alexis and Alison are man-eaters. I acted as the evening’s photographer, and got some truly fabulous tabloid-worthy pictures. Unfortunately, I was using Ali’s camera, so I am now anxiously awaiting the email with those photos. If I ever get them, I’ll post them for you.

Anyways, the rest of the weekend continued with the craziness - since I’m too lazy to write up everything, here’s a brief list (in no particular order):

1. The spinning dance floor at Thursday’s.
2. “The Darkness is the best band EVER. Do you know them? They’re glam rock… like Motley Crue and Bon Jovi.” Spoken by a (hot) Canadian idiot… it’s sad when even I know more about music than someone.
3. The creation of Luxury Girls - the real best band EVER. Or they will be once we start recording…
4. Public make-out sessions (I’m not naming names, but I will say that it wasn’t me or Emily…)
5. My discovery that polka is my favorite music of all time. Please send me CDs.
6. The food. Mmmmmm…. cheeeeeeeeese.
7. The most one-sided foosball games of all time. Ali is the foosball queen.
8. The drama of exchanging money. “I’m looking for a better rate!”
9. Belting out Wilson Philip’s “Hold On” in the car. And NKOTB’s “Cover Girl.” And everything else that came out of Alexis’ Pod.
10. The sleeping arrangements on Friday night. I LOVE sleeping in between Alexis and Emily, and them getting to go to bed with a naked Ali. Schweeeet.

YEAH! I think that pretty much sums up Montreal. Until Alexis puts her spin on it, anyways.

For the past 20 years, I’ve held a deep, dark secret close to my heart, not daring to reveal to truth to anybody. The topic comes up all the time, but I always skate my way around telling the truth, if I don’t outright lie. But after reading Poop’s post yesterday about Gremlins (and the comments about Goonies), I feel the need to come clean. I just can’t take the lying and deception anymore… and I need to redeem myself.

(deep breath)

I’ve never seen Goonies.

(sigh…………)

As a child of the 80s, I know I’m a freak; I’m the only person in my age range that hasn’t seen this movie. But it’s not as easy to fix as you might think. Just imagine:

You’re hanging out with some friends, and the topic of 80s movies comes up. You, as usual, talk about the genius of Breakfast Club and 16 Candles, and everyone agrees. But then someone brings up Goonies… and everyone starts crying out quotes, reminiscing about the first time they saw the film. The first few times this conversation comes up, you think about mentioning that you haven’t seen it, but from the howls of laughter and blatant adoration, you can tell that you’ll only end up in one of those annoying “ohmigod you haven’t seen it how can that be” conversations that everyone feels the need to weigh in on. People end up spilling secrets about the movie, making it hard to drum up the excitement needed to actually see a movie. So, you just kind of smile and nod along knowingly during the conversation, waiting for the conversation to move on. This happens over and over and over again, over a period of 20 YEARS, until you are just so embarrassed that you haven’t seen it that you can no longer face yourself.

For a while after this happens, I think about renting Goonies. I look for it on TV, and when I skim other people’s movie collections, I look to see if they own it. Recently, I tried to see if it was available “on demand,” thinking that the brilliance of cable would correct this mistake in my film-watching history. But I never find it, and inevitably it falls from my mind.

But no more. I have a plan now. Next week - I will go the Mike’s Videos and rent Goonies. I may even rent Gremlins at the same time (I have no idea if the movies have anything in common, but since they are both gaping holes in my past, I think it’ll be good to get them both taken care of).

I feel better already.

I was all psyched up to post yesterday, thinking I’d regale you with fun stories about my weekend in NYC… but unfortunately (for you and me both!) I was somehow STILL hung over from Saturday night. I’m not sure what happened, but I’ve learned my lesson - no more pregaming with Emily and Steve. All it ever leads to is sloppy, floppy nights where I end up passing out half off of Ali’s couch, fully clothed, with my leather jacket still on one arm. Ugh.

I think I’m going to try those Chaser things next weekend… no harm in trying, right?

So, no recap for you - quite frankly, I don’t remember enough from Saturday night (although it was good to see Celeste again!), and was in so much pain the last two days that I don’t want to think about it anymore. I will tell you that I had a lot of fun at the Snow Patrol concert on Friday night - the Roseland was really cool, and the band put on a good performance. Plus, there was this group of college kids going CRAZY for this band - I haven’t seen fists punching the air like that since the ’80s. It was pretty sweet.

I have nothing else to say now - except I FINALLY saw the OC season finale and I LOVED it. So much drama in the OC (I just sang that Snoop style)…. I will definitely be tuning in again next season.

I’m heading to NYC this weekend - look out AlexisT! I’m coming after you, and things may get a little bit crazy…

Speaking of crazy, this morning I heard that a lion mutilated 42 midgets in Cambodian ring-fight. I was pretty entertained, in a sick/twisted kind of way, and was horrified by the stupidity of the fighting midget troop. But, then I tried to figure out when this happened… and discovered it was a hoax (scroll down to “Grumble of the Week”). So now my question is:

Why on earth didn’t the creator of this tall tale write a screenplay to tell this story? I’m telling you, it’s box office GOLD. I envision a mix of Willow, Gladiator, and DodgeBall. Just think about it!

Warwick Davis could star as the leader of the fighting troop - the brave man who fully believes in midget power. He’s not Cambodian you say? Umm, hello, if they can make Mickey Rooney Asian in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, they can surely make Warwick Cambodian. C’mon people.

Ben Stiller can play Yang Sihamoni, President of the Cambodian Midget Fighting League. As in Dodgeball, Ben will portray a comical tyrant, who likes to make others fight his battles. Plus, with Ben Stiller in the movie, lots of other famous people will make cameos, which will make the movie really funny. I’d like to see Owen Wilson…

Joaquin Phoenix will play the head of the Cambodian government that allowed this tragedy to happen in order to collect lots of cash. A rip-off of his Gladiator role, sure. But this will add more drama and depth to the film. Plus, I think the lions from Gladiator would be happy to resurrect their acting careers, and since they already know Joaquin…

I like “Midget Wars” as the title, with the tagline reading it’s not the size of the midget, it’s the size of the fight in the midget that matters. Deep, right?

I’m telling you - release this film on Memorial Day Weekend and you’ve got a winner.

I feel like I’ve been watching a lot of cheesy TV lately - but perhaps that because my cheesy TV watching over the last two weeks has proved me to be a complete hypocrite.

Item 1:

I have actually started WATCHING American Idol. After years of avoiding it - I’ve only seen 3 episodes of the last three seasons (the last two from season 1, and a random one from season 3) - I somehow FORGOT to change the station one day when it came on. And now, horror of horrors, I actually LIKE the two finalists. Carrie and Bo both rock - she’s got an amazing voice, and he is so freakin’ cool I can’t handle it. I’m totally rooting for him, especially because he’s not your “typical” American Idol. But I wouldn’t be upset if Carrie won either, after the way she rocked the Dixie Chicks a couple of weeks ago.

Item 2:

And while we’re on the topic of FOX, I have to say that I’ve started watching Stacked, with Pam Anderson. I’ve always liked her - she seems so strong and confident, and she’s SO fun - and when I heard about the nipple issue, I figured I’d support her right to smuggle peas. But now, I kind of like the show too - not that I think it’s GOOD exactly, but it’s REALLY entertaining. Watching dorky guys fantasize about Pam is a good time. Also, Pam’s blog on Friendster is pretty cool - and good advertising.

Item 3:

I used to be obsessed with America’s Next Top Model. But since the show REFUSES to pick the right girl (it should have been Elyse instead of Adrianne, Mercedes instead of Yoanna, Yaya instead of Eva, and Kahlen instead of Naima), I’ve given up on them. Although I did watch the season finale last night, and must say that Naima is the best so far. Anyways, I decided to watch the last 15 minutes of ANTM on Tuesday, which was recapping the season. And I got distracted (putting away groceries, making a late dinner), so I didn’t change the station… and ended up watching Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Oops.

You all know I used to love Britney, but after her fall from hotness, I’ve been avoiding her. I swore up, down, and sideways that I wouldn’t watch this show - I hate him, and I don’t want to support her new-found white-trashiness. But the show was oddly mesmerizing - I couldn’t take my eyes off of the screen (to the point of overcooking my pasta). It really felt like a glimpse into their lives - the fact that she was shooting the bulk of the show with her camcorder, and that there was obviously no air-brushing or covering up of flaws made it the most REAL reality show I’ve ever seen.

At the end of the show, this is what I came away with:

1. Britney isn’t stupid, but she acts like a bigger bimbo than she is.
2. She seems like a normal girl in her early 20s - fun, eager to please, sarcastic, goofy….
3. The girl likes sex, and isn’t afraid to show it.
4. Kevin is a horrifying loser - I agree with Brit’s bodyguard that he’s just along for the free ride. Although he was MUCH cuter when his head was shaved.
5. I’ll probably be watching the 2nd episode next week.

Item 4:

The OC. I missed last week’s episode (do NOT tell me what happened), and now I’m going to miss tonight’s season finale! Not to worry, both episodes are/are being recorded, and I’ll watch both next week. Not to put any pressure on FOX, but my happiness with these two episodes will decide if I tune in again next season.

Sure, that’s probably more than you needed to know about my appallingly bad taste in TV… but it entertains me.

Compliments of one of the pirates, my boyfriend received this link in his email yesterday.

He lost interest after 20 or so guesses, but I was so entertained that I took the test on my own.

I’ll admit, I was overly confident in my bra-size-guessing abilities… but Zipperfish showed me who was boss. After some strenuous thinking (thoughts included: “I don’t have any idea what her boobs look like,” “Who sells a 33C? I thought all bras were even numbers,” and “Who the h*ll is that?”), I received the following:

Hmph. Apparently I need to ogle more breasts in order to brush up on my skills.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but it will probably come as no surprise that I do a little bit of non-blog writing. That’s right, my six readers, beyond the fabulous insights that I post here, I do a little bit of fiction writing. This is mostly for fun, because while I really like the idea of being a professional writer, I don’t think I have the courage to dedicate myself completely to writing - quite frankly, I need more security than that. It’s kind of like my dream of being an actress (seriously, who wouldn’t love to do that?) - it sounds like fun, but only if I am “discovered” so that I don’t have to live the starving artist life. So for now, I just steal time.

Back to my point… I’m not prolific by any means, but I do have a couple of stories (first person accounts and some fiction) online at The Better Drink, an online magazine that takes us on a journey to find “The Champagne Life.” As a HUGE fan of champagne, I love the idea that a life can be sparkling. In this “birthday” issue, you can read my story about a “champagne drenched slumber party” that I was lucky enough to attend. You know you want to read it…

I don’t have much else to say for now - I could recap my weekend, but I don’t think you care about my tame (but fun) activities. So, I’m out…

Whew. I’m clean AND I smell good. Mmmm… creme brulee.

Last night I met my friend Dawn for “Girl’s Night Out.” Skyy vodka, free goody bags, discounted clothes/jewelry/make-up/accessories, and friendly strangers made for a very good time… a very good time indeed. I became obsessed with Kate Starr’s jewelry (absolutely stunning - and I don’t even usually accessorize!), and dropped some dough on Canadian make-up that I will probably never use (but it’s so pretty!). There was an unfortunate incident that involved flavored nipple cream burning my lips, and bizarre things going on at a plastic surgery booth, but overall - I’d give it 4 out of 5 stars. Unfortunately, my purse strings were loosened by melon flavored vodka, and I spent a teensy bit more than I meant to… whoops.

Luckily, a penny saved is a penny earned, and since I saved… oh… about $50 last night (discounts and freebies - cost of ticket), I’ll just pretend I came out ahead. I can’t wait to save more money next year.

This weekend looks to be fun, in spite of the rain they’re predicting (for the freakin’ fourth weekend in a row)! “See” you on Monday!

Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not dirty that way. Except when I am. Which reminds me, my FAVORITE line in Pump up the Volume is when Nora (the Eat Me Beat Me Lady) says “Don’t worry, I’m not really like that. Except when I am.” That’s so freakin’ cool.

I love that movie. LOVE IT. Christian Slater’s 80s movies are totally radical (a little 80s Valley Girl speak for you all) - between PUTV (okay, technically 90s, but whatever), Heathers, and Gleaming the Cube, I am in heaven. Sigh. Anyways, to get back to my point, which was… ummm… hmm. Oh right, being dirty.

The shower in my apartment wasn’t working this morning, which meant that I had to call and email building management at 6:45 am to complain. This is about 4 hours earlier than I even want to be awake, and obviously they weren’t there, so my whining was pointless. I did hear back from them around 9am, only to have them tell me that the water heater busted last night, and they had to shut off the hot water. Unfortunately, my apartment’s shower doesn’t like operating without hot water, so it stopped working all together. It’s a sad day when you’re wishing for a cold shower. Ugh. And now that I’m finally awake, I’m feeling all gross and grungy because my hair is being weighed down by Day 2 Grease.

They promised it would be fixed today, and they had best not be lying. I’d hate to have to put the smack-down on them….

Blogger and I were in the biggest fight EVER. Sometime last night, he started giving me the silent treatment, and refused to pass my messages along.

But I kicked his ass, and now he’s back in line.