Always Anna

I have problems drinking.

For my entire drinking life, I’ve been a beer girl. I started out my freshman year of college as a Bud bottle girl, and when that started to make me sick on a regular basis (sometime during junior year), I moved on to Bud Light bottles. I stuck with that until the first year after college, when I switched to Coors Light (bottles, of course) or PBR (cans). Continuing on my quest for the “perfect” beer – something that doesn’t make me feel too full or too sick before the buzz kicks in – sometime last year I moved to Amstel Light. But nothing seems to work! So, I have reluctantly decided that if I don’t want to stay sober, I’m going to have to switch to mix-drinks.

But what should I drink? I don’t like OJ or cranberry juice in my drinks, and I don’t really like sodas either. I hate gin, and am not too big a fan of rum either. I’ve been experimenting with Stoli Razz or Peach and soda water, which I like because it’s really easy to drink… but it sounds so girly. I feel so much cooler with a bottle of beer in my hand.

Maybe I should just do shots all night. Any suggestions?

In today’s society, is there such a thing as too much? In the March issue of Elle, Susanna Sonnenberg looks into the science behind desire in the article “As Good As It Gets?”

Once upon a time, the marketplace was a neccessity – something that provided people with their basic needs. But we grew past the point where getting food, drink, and shelter was a pressing concern, and now we feel the “need” for more. More clothes, more technology, more luxury. However, getting what we desire doesn’t actually make us happy – instead we end up on a constant quest for happiness through acquisition, thinking that once we get everything we want, we’ll be content. Unfortunately, getting what we want only ends up making us want something else.

I’m certainly guilty of this. How many times have I thought, “If I can just find the perfect pair of black pants, my wardrobe will be complete”? But, I find the pants, and realize that I need a new shirt to go with it. And then the shoes that I thought I’d wear with the outfit aren’t quite right, so off I go to the mall. Three hours and hundreds of dollars later, I have a new wardrobe. Except I can’t seem to find the perfect white sweater…

I thought that if I just got an iPod, I’d be set – but then I realized that I had to fill it with all the songs that I might, someday, want to hear. Someday, when I really want to hear Ricky Nelson, I’ll be set. Plus, now that I have an iPod, I’m convinced that I need Apple’s new 12″ G4 Powerbook. It only makes sense, right? I’m saving up for it now… but is it really necessary? This Thinkpad is perfectly functional (well, except for the missing soundcard)… but a Powerbook is so much cooler.

Sigh.

P.S. I just told my boyfriend about this, and he said, “Yeah. We’re like squirrels, and these are all our nuts.” Speaking of which, I think I could use one of those cute little trays that hold nuts. You know, in case I have a party.

He’s coming back!

I couldn’t be more happy right now.

I started my daily blog stalking with The Ninth Circle of Helen today… and am so appalled by the news on her blog that I immediately came here to say: Are you freaking kidding me?

I like to think that I’m open minded, but this… I can’t deal with this.

Helen, thank you for this horrifying information. I don’t think I’m going to be sleep tonight.

I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to the “new” classic tv. The classic television stations seem to think that shows from the late 80s and early 90s classify as classics. Nick at Nite’s nightly lineup consists of Full House, Fresh Prince, Roseanne, Murphy Brown and The Cosby Show! Now, I never get tired of the Fresh Prince or Bill Cosby, and I’m certainly a fan of Cheers, Family Ties, Who’s the Boss, and Wings (also in the line-up)… but I don’t understand what happened here. When did these shows become the shows of yesteryear?

Growing up, I always watched re-runs of I Love Lucy, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Dick van Dyke Show. I loved these shows – hell, I still do. But I just don’t get it. Can anyone explain how Roseanne or Uncle Joey even come close to the level of comedy that Lucy and Samantha reached? Besides, the 80s and 90s weren’t long enough ago to qualify as classics… right? I’m not that old!

I feel like my grandma, rambling about how things were so much better in my day, but… well, they were!

I live in Boston – and I can’t deal with the sports scene here. Luckily, I don’t really care about baseball, so I don’t need to be involved in the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry, but I love football and basketball – and not the Boston teams.

First off, let me just say that I have grown to hate the Patriots. I am so tired of hearing about what a great team they are, how modest, how refreshing. I’m really tired of hearing about how they aren’t a “superstar” team… it’s such a load of crap. They’re the same as any other professional football team – full of themselves and praying for a ring. They have their star in Tom Brady, an athlete that dates an actress (shocking!), and models for the Gap. I’m not denying that they have talent, and I will admit that their ability to play as a team is admirable. But they aren’t “better people” than any other NFL team (well, except for the Raiders).

Moving on to basketball…. Since I moved to Boston a couple of years ago, I’ve been to at least a couple of Celtics games a season – they’re a ton of fun, and the $10 seats are the best sports deal in Boston. But, I’m not a Celtics fan. If they aren’t playing a team I really love, I’ll root for them when I’m at the games, but my heart belongs to the Lakers.

I was lucky enough to get seats at the Lakers/Celtics game on Wednesday night; I had never been that excited for a sporting event. To see the Lakers play the Celtics, the rivalry that I grew up with, was amazing. Unfortunately, the game didn’t go my way, but at least it was a great game. For the most part.

Throughout the game, Kobe was being booed – when he walked on the court, whenever he touched the ball, and especially when he was at the free throw line. I took that in stride – I know Kobe isn’t the most liked guy in the NBA anymore, and since he’s the best on the team, he was bound to get the most heckling. But, at one point during the 2nd half, Kobe fell and was down on the ground for about a minute. When the people in the stadium realized he wasn’t getting up right away… they cheered.

Now, I’ve definitely joked around about wanting my rivals to get hurt – but you never actually want to see it happen. What kind of people want their good fortune to come about because someone else got hurt along the way? What kind of people rejoice when someone gets injured? I was appalled, but it made me realize something… Boston fans suck. These are the same people that start brawls at games (I saw two separate fights at the basketball game, and witnessed countless others at other events), riot when their teams lose, and act like it’s the second coming when they win. They’re sore losers, and even worse winners.

It’s ridiculous…. But I guess I’ll just have to deal with it, since I’m living here. It’s just sad that I have ended up hating Boston teams because their fans suck.

“This chick’s rockin’ your bro on the dance floor. But she’s towing an anchor…A junior investment banker. Who’s talkin’ about herself and not much more…Oooooh…so buy her a beer, its the reason you’re here…..Mighty Wingman! You’re taking one for the team, so your buddy can live the dream: Wingmaaaaaaaaaaaan!”

That commercial was the BEST beer commercial I ever saw, and I wish Coors Light would bring it back. Since I won’t hold my breath on that, I guess I’ll just have to rely on my memories.

Anyways, as a retired wingwoman, I found it hysterical that you can now “wing-it” online. “The Virtual Wingman,” acts like a good buddy that will tell the guy/girl you’re interested in how cool you are – you just give them some information about yourself and your intended, and they craft and send a pick-up email for you. Thinking that this sounded like a great idea, I decided to have The Virtual Wingman hit on my boyfriend for me.

After struggling to decide what category to put my man in (I ultimately decided to say we’d hooked up before), and then replying to the Wingman’s confirmation email (after all, it would suck if you could just put anyone’s email information in there, right?) telling him that I did, indeed, need his services, I settled in to wait for the email. A day later, The Wingman CC’d me on the following email (with my deletions/edits/comments in parentheses):

“Life, we probably don’t need to tell you, is more than the chaotic interaction of like-joined particles with other like-joined particles. It’s that chaos — constantly roiling — that turns into symmetry and ultimately creates… well, dammit, the fun.

Let’s take one Anna, for example. (Personal information deleted here. I don’t want any stalkers!) Need we say more? Okay, we will.

She also lists The Beatles and Ani DiFranco among her favorite musical acts, and the Wingman is getting the feeling she isn’t dwelling the pop stylings of Help! We’re guessing she’s White Album and Sgt. Pepper’s all the way…

But from the chaos comes the symmetry. Can you guess what her idea of the perfect date is? (This is none of your business.) Can you think of anything more Norman Rockwell? Anything so much less than chaos?

Anna may seem hard to fathom, but dammit (you don’t need to know his name!), she’s a 24-year-old girl making her way in the paradox that is Boston. She may claim to be a marketing goddess, but to us that screams, “Help! I’m stuck in some corporate hell just waiting to be rescued.” And the reward for the man who makes this rescue? Well, we think you know first-hand just how fun she can be.

(This first sentence referred to my perfect date.) But take our advice, (name again), you probably don’t want to wait for the weather to warm up before you heat things up with Anna.

Just a tip from your friends at The Virtual Wingman!”

FABULOUS.

Last November, I was seriously considering moving to Canada – I was (and still am) one of the broken hearted after the last presidential election. But, even though I am terrified about what will happen in these next four years, I think it’s really important to stay involved and keep fighting for what I believe in. And so does Ben Cohen, founder of Ben & Jerry’s.

He created this great cartoon on the True Majority Action website, talking about Bush’s budget plan. To make it easy to understand, he compares our government’s money to Oreo Cookies , which is pretty entertaining.

I’m a fan.