Always Anna

You know I’m a Packers fan.  And you know I love Brett.  And today, officially, he’s not a Packer.

I’m angry.  And sad.  And my feelings whip back and forth so fast between wanting to scream and wanting to cry - with brief bursts of acceptance in between - that I feel like I have emotional whiplash.

It’s been a messy divorce, this separation of Packers and Favre. As a Packer fan, I have to support my team and still root for them to win, right?  But as someone who’s only ever known Brett as the QB for my team, how do I relate to my team without him there?  Especially since even though I believe that both the Packers management and Brett did their part to f*ck up this situation, when push comes to shove, I believe that Brett was more right. 

I believe that the Packers shouldn’t have pressured him into retiring, then refused to talk to him when he realized that he still wanted to play.  And can very clearly still play WELL. 

I believe that the Packers should have understood and appreciated the fact that Brett has defined their team for almost two decades, and should have welcomed him back with open arms.

I believe that Ted Thompson, our douche of a GM, should have put his own ego aside and not refused to consider starting someone other than Aaron Rodgers. While I’ll admit to never liking Aaron (HI, he played for Cal, and I’m a USC fan!), it boggles the mind that TT could be so caught up in supporting “his” draft pick that he doesn’t take into account the fact that Brett took them to numerous NFC North Championships, NFC Playoffs, and the Super Bowl. 

I’ll miss seeing you in Lambeau, Brett.  I’ll be rooting for you in New York.

Packers?  I’ll be rooting for you in the fall.  But I know that watching football this year will not be the same.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

- Anais Nin

Photo by Michael Blanchard

Whenever work gets too crazy and I need to see something that will make me smile, I go to Cute Overload and look at the puppy pictures.  Today, that break didn’t go as well as I had hoped, since the first thing that popped up onscreen was a photo of fish eating a woman’s feet.  With a link to this article on CNN.

I’m so weirded out by this!  How could anyone even think of sticking their feet in a bowl for fish to nibble on?  Ew!  The thought makes me want to tuck my feet up underneath me and never leave them uncovered again.

The BF and I spent the weekend packing and preparing to move into our amazing and wonderful new place.  And - with one exception when Sneaky McTrickyPants came over to see the new place and help me mentally design it - I acted totally crazy.  I freaked out about not having enough boxes.  I sulked when the BF tried to be rational.  I cried for no apparent reason. 

And then the thunderstorms caused us to lose power for OVER SIX HOURS on Sunday.  Ever packed by candlelight?  In 90-degree weather and 90% humidity?  With NO AIR CONDITIONER BECAUSE THE POWER IS OUT? I don’t recommend it. 

Thanks to the BFs amazingness - in that he took the day off from work yesterday to move all of our big stuff - we were able to spend last night in the new place.  We still have some more to move, but it’s like being the new place lifted a raincloud away from my head, and now, all of a sudden, I’m fine. 

I stayed up way past my bedtime last night - for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to see The Dark Knight at midnight.

I was right.  The movie is amazing: a perfect blend of awesome action scenes, complex characters, and a dark, depressing storyline. The returning actors were all perfect, Maggie Gyllenhaal is a million times better than Katie Holmes was in Batman Begins, Aaron Eckhart was great as Harvey Dent, and - last but definitely not least - Heath Ledger’s final performance as the Joker was nothing short of brilliant. 

The movie was beautiful and disturbing and fun. Go see it!

This week has sucked for me.  I’m all stressed out between work, trying to move, and the whole Brett situation in Green Bay.

But, finally, I have some good news. 

Bret Michaels will be back for a 3rd season of Rock of Love!  And it sounds like the most amazing idea ever! AND I just found out yesterday that Project Runway is premiering tonight! 

Hooray for reality TV saving my week!

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

- emily dickinson, “hope is the thing with feathers”

The BF and I drove up to Vermont this past weekend - which, of course, means that he drove and I passengered.  I always fall asleep on long car rides - or any car trip that lasts longer than 30 minutes - which can be annoying to the BF when he doesn’t feel like staying awake either.  Without me constantly pestering him, what’s to keep him awake at the wheel?

This trip, we decided we’d try something new to keep me awake - a book on CD.  He tried this out on his last long car trip and it helped him stay awake and focused, so we thought it might be an entertaining way to spend our 6+ hours in the car.

We decided to go with The Essential Barack Obama set, which includes The Audacity of Hope and Dreams from My Father.  Both books are read by Barack himself, which is cool, and both are books we have wanted to read but haven’t gotten around to yet.

We got all the way through The Audacity of Hope on the round trip, and all I can say is WOW.  This man is just so amazing - intelligent and well-spoken and empathetic and inspirational.  Listening to him speak the words he’s written, hearing the passion in his voice and the thoughtfulness in his tone, even listening to his attempts at a southern accent - all of these things combined had me sitting up straight for the whole car ride, gazing out the window and either nodding along with his thoughts or crying when I got overwhelmed by how much work there is to do to make our country a better place. 

We have a long drive from Boston to New Jersey, then from New Jersey to Vermont in August.  We’ll be listening to Dreams from My Father then.  I can’t wait!

 

Look at yourself, like yourself, and find the positive.

— Dana Buchman

I’ve always moved around a lot - after hopping around Southern California as a child, I moved at least once per year from 1997 to 2005.  Granted, college was in there, so those four moves in four years is pretty typical.  But still… that’s a lot of packing.  A lot of going through stacks of paper and shredding things you don’t need anymore.  A lot of “How the h*ll did that get in the refrigerator?”  And - the only fun part - a lot of unpacking and decorating new places.

For the past three years, I’ve been living with the BF in a slum.  Okay, it’s not quite a slum, but… well, it isn’t nice.  Things broke.  MORE things broke.  And our property managers didn’t bother to return phone calls… even when our bathroom and part of the living room was under an inch of water.  Earlier this year - after the third flood in three years - we decided we’d had enough.  Time for a new place.  A more grown-up place that has more to offer than a great location (which was the one thing the slum did have).

And, as of yesterday evening, we have an awesome new place that has lots of light, more space, an incredible deck, and amazing landlords. 

I’m dancing with joy!